Category Archives: Parenting

Teachable Moments (Guest Post)

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As part of the Ultimate Blog Swap, Paula, of The Tween and Me, has agreed to guest post for me today. I am sure you will find her advice strikes home and is practical to most of us. Make sure you visit her at her blog after you read this post.

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I love being a parent. There are so many intrinsic rewards, one of which is watching my daughter, Ariel, mature and learn. I treasure our time together. She’s a bright, fun child with a zest for life. We spend a lot of time together, shopping, exploring, and just hanging out. I actively look for ways to incorporate skills practice in our everyday activities.

How do I do that? Shopping is easy. I hand her my purse (I’m standing right there!) and let her pay for our purchases… and part of the experience is making the correct change. If the total is $6.14, she needs to know to use a $5 bill and a $1 bill… and also a dime and four pennies. It’s not the same if you just pull out a ten dollar bill! However, I have pulled her aside (not in the check-out lane!) and asked her to calculate how much money we should get back if we don’t have correct change. One way is money skills practice and the other is subtraction. Both great practical applications for real life. Sometimes I toss in a coupon or two to see how she’ll figure it out. I can’t wait until she’s learning multiplication and fractions and we’ll get to practice % off sales!! (she already does understand that a sale means she stands a better chance of getting something she desires and that a BOGO sale at the grocery store means she’ll get two of whatever snack she’s craving!)

Exploring around town gives us a chance to practice map skills (“If I am headed north and turn right, which direction will I then be going?”), observation/relation and direction-giving (“Tell me how to get home, turn-by-turn”), and measurement (“If it’s 5 miles from the mall to our church, and 1 mile from our church to home, how far is it from the mall to our house if we go by the church?”) It’s also fun to play word games with the license plate letters from the cars around us. (“Oh, CLR 123 could stand for Cathy Likes Rocks”… “or, Crispy Little Raisins”… “or, Count Logs Rolling.” We revel in seeing who can create the wildest combinations or who can use recent spelling words. I like to use words Ariel doesn’t yet know so I can introduce new vocabulary words.

We enjoy watching Wheel of Fortune as a family. It’s not every night, but usually several times a week. Ariel has become amazingly good at solving the puzzles on WOF, filling in the letters, guessing phrases and learning idioms, proper names, and even comprehending some strategic thinking. (“No, don’t buy a vowel!”… “Don’t guess a consonant when you have a Free Spin!”) I’m sure she would have figured a lot of it out on her own, but it’s been a valuable teaching opportunity for us to have a DVR, so we can pause the live action, let her process the words, sometimes with a little assistance, and then we can also take the time to explain the phrase or name, pointing out tidbits of social studies or literary significance.

Those are just a few of the ways I encourage thinking outside the classroom. What ways do you incorporate skills practice with your child? I’d love to hear your suggestions!

(photo credits: lusi, iprole, poison-yvi)

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It’s the little things. . .

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There are days when everything seems to go just right. You know, house semi-clean and picked up, no fighting from the wee ones, moments of stillness and peace that come more than go. A quiet moment here and there to reflect on God’s blessings in our lives, coffee {or tea!} in hand.

Oftentimes, it seems quite the opposite.  Dirt. Crumbs. Shouting and yelling from your precious babes.

But when. . .  when do we stop to look for the joy in our days? There is an oft-quoted phrase that goes like this: take the time to stop and smell the roses. I beg to differ. Roses are nice and all, but the truly beautiful things are the people in your life. In my case, these are young children who depend on me for so much. They take much of my time. But they also give me something that is so much of a gift: a choice.

A choice to look down and see happiness.

 

 

 

A choice to see how much I am loved.

 

 

 

A choice to see how a family truly is wonderful.

 

 

 

A choice to see that our children do notice. . . even if only occasionally.

 

And then stopping to smell the roses becomes more than stopping. It is moving forward and recognizing that joy and love is already there.

Yet, making these choices is worth nothing. .  . nothing. .  .if we don’t give thanks to the One Who gave us these gifts.

So, dear friends, look down, make choices to see His goodness, because it is there. And in joy and adoration, give thanks!

Because He gives us these little things.

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Mommy Fail, a story with pictures

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Just in case y’all got some silly idea in your heads that I was this super-human mother, I thought I would share this story of one of my days last week. And to further prove to you that I am kind of crazy, I will include pictures of me without makeup. And if I were totally crazy I would also share with you that I hadn’t even brushed my hair was slightly less than perfect.

So. Read at your own expense. Laugh at me, a lot. Comment on how totally insane I am. And send some Starbucks Mocha Grande No Whip, stat!

 

The Story

Once upon a time, there was a mother. One day, this mother realized that lunch time was upon her and her family. She went to the fridge to reach for the old stand-by and epitome of lunches everywhere: peanut butter.

Alas! When she pulled out the peanut butter, she found this ~

 

She knew this would not be nearly enough to provide sustenance to her little brood. This was truly a disaster of immense proportions.

So what did that mother do? As any other mother out there would do, she decided to save the day by going here ~

She gathered up her children and herded them into the 15-passenger family wagon, which looks like this ~

As she walked around to get into the driver’s side, this kooky mom realized she was going out into public with crazy hair and the most craziest of outfits: grey t-shirt, black velour pants, and brown flip-flops. The evidence can be seen here ~

 

 

(why does it look like I have grey hairs in this picture? I assure you, this mama has no grey hairs . . . yet)

 

 

(I guess I should have warned you to shield your eyes from my extremely white winter skin. Sorry, y’all.)

The mother said “Oh, well!”

 

 

She drove off and retrieved the beloved chicken nuggets and waffle fries. The trip involved some whining (which of course meant disciplining and correcting in the car – never fun!) and sighing and a little bit of fighting. The mother wished she had instead made the decision to just stay at home and open up the jar of peanut butter and let them at it.

When she got home, however, she saw these faces ~

and ~

and ~

~and

 

The mother sighed. Her frowns changed into smiles as she wrestled her children into the house to eat the procured food. She kissed the tops of little heads as she helped them into their chairs. As she sat down, utterly exhausted, to her favorite chicken sandwich, she realized these tiny creatures were such blessings and worth every bit of craziness this job entailed. Even craziness that involved fighting, small amounts of peanut butter, and crazy hair.

The end.

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Oh, What Joyous News!

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“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” -Psalm127:3

It is with the most intense excitement that I announce that my husband, children, and I are expecting baby #5. We are so grateful that our prayers have been answered and that another sweet blessing is being added to our family. I covet your prayers during the early stages of this new one’s life.

Photo credit: ugaldew

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Potty Training DVD

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In my survey, a few of my readers asked questions about potty-training tips. While I am not yet ready to post something on that topic at this time, I do have a resource that I believe may be beneficial for many of you. I have not personally viewed this potty training DVD so I am not endorsing it nor can I attest to its content. This is just “FYI.”

Huggies is offering a free Potty-Training Success DVD. From the information provided on the site

“Finally there’s a potty training approach that’s flexible and fun. You can tailor it to fit the way your child learns best, so you can keep your Big Kid® engaged from start to finish.”

Hope this helps!

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Training Children

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I made it a goal at the end of 2007 to read the entire Bible through in year. It is now 2010 and I am still working on this goal. I have found it necessary to re-read chapters and meditate on things and because of this I have only just started the book of Proverbs. This being my favorite part of the Bible, I am eagerly gleaning all of the practical wisdom from this book. There is no other book of the Bible that shows so clearly the importance of being pure in marriage, raising children, and how to live your every day life. Especially because of this season of my life I am more and more convicted of the importance of teaching children the importance of Godly wisdom.

Along with the fact that raising children is just. plain. hard. work. comes the realization that the way in which we raise them is extremely important. And the age at which we start training them in Godly wisdom has to start young. I’m talking from the cradle young, folks.

Our world has it backwards. We start out with babies who grow into infants. We coddle them and give in to their every want because, well, “they are just babies!” From infants they become whiny, demanding toddlers. Moms and dads around America moan and sigh and complain of “the terrible twos.”  Of course, inevitably, when some young parent is saying this, someone will pipe up “wait till they are teenagers.” And of course, no one bothers to correct these toddlers because – yes, you guessed it – “they are just babies!”  The teenage years come and moody, rebellious youths are tolerated. And guess what? Something funny happens.

All of a sudden, in a desperate attempt at controlling their out-of-control progeny, parents start cracking down. These children that were basically left to themselves from birth on up are displaying the most outward show of their as yet unchecked sinful selves. Curfews are suddenly instated, rules on boy-girl relationships are produced, and grounding as the cure-all for any infractions against parental authority becomes the new norm.

Is it just me, or do you see anything wrong with this picture?

Children are born sinful. While it is hard to imagine that precious little human who smells so very heavenly is anything but perfect, they are sinners. Psalm 51:5 says “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me.” And left unchecked because of excuses on the part of the parents will bring forth heartache and grief.

I encourage you now to train up your children starting from the moment they are born. Obviously there are some training and discipline methods that will not work at this stage. But look at your family’s dynamics and see how you can start encouraging that baby to become part of a family, not the star of the family.

As they continue to grow, they are perfectly capable to abide by established boundaries set by Mom and Dad. Learning respect, obedience, and basic chores is a must at this time of their young lives. In fact if they learn these things now they will really never know a time when they did not have to do them. No need for balking and complaining when they are suddenly expected to start helping around the house or mind Mom and Dad. (Of course, children, being the perfect sinners they are, will at some point complain and moan. I am not promising perfect kids. That will not happen. Sorry)

This time is ripe for learning. Keeping them at your side and teaching and training every step of the way reaps benefits beyond what our world expects. Guiding these little hands and minds towards what is right and proper and Godly will help grow up Godly, respectful youth.

I encourage you to examine your family’s young ones. Are you helping them make the best start in life that you can? Encourage them early towards wanting to love and please their parents. The benefits are many.

Below I have included a list of resources that will help you in training and discipling your children. Some of these were included in my Homeschool Pre K training post but I have extended the list in order to give you more to choose from. God bless you on your journey towards parenting the way God would have you!

Helpful Child Training Resources

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Shepherding a Child’s Heart

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Honor Your Father and Mother (I highly recommend the resources available for purchase by Doorposts!)

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Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World (While I do not agree with everything the Bradrick’s recommend, I find this DVD set exceptionally wise and biblically sound)

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Raising Godly Tomatoes (The website Raising Godly Tomatoes is what I am most familiar with. I have not yet read the book.)

photo credit: redvisualg

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Parenting Young Children Survey

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As I work on various series regarding parenting young children I thought I would ask you some questions. Each family struggles with different things when raising children. Our personal dynamics and individual personalities lend to an assortment of issues and problems. What my family struggles with may be a non-issue for yours, and vice versa.

I realize I have already request you to fill out two surveys in the past couple of months. Asking for you to do one more may seem silly. I am striving to make this site the best it can be, however, and to do this I need to know exactly what you want to know about.

I appreciate your help!

Parenting Young Children Survey found here

Photo credit: freeparking

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Raising Children: Hard Work Ahead

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“. . .I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” -2 Timothy 1:5

Timothy was a young man whom Paul considered his “true son in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:2). He spent a lot of time with Paul and Paul had a lot of trust in him. The above scripture notes that Timothy had “genuine faith.” This genuine faith was a heritage, a legacy of sorts passed down to him from his grandmother and mother. This faith started with them and passed on to become godly seed.

Christian parents have a huge responsibility. We are charged with teaching our children the ways of God and discipling and disciplining them effectively to that end. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” – Deuteronomy 6:7 We are to show our children how to live, think, act, and worship.

We do this by first modeling the Christian walk in our own daily lives. The way we respond to our children, to others, and to our circumstances speaks volumes to the next generation. Their eyes watch constantly, wanting to see what Mom does next. Beginning at a young age, they will emulate everything we do. They put on our shoes and prance around the house. Seeing us in the kitchen they will grab a bowl and spoon and pretend to stir a culinary concoction.

They want to be like us.

The precedent for our childrens’ lives starts with the parents.

Let’s move on by examining what discipling and discipline are.

By definition, to disciple is:

1. To teach; to train, or bring up.

To Discipline is to:

1. To instruct or educate; to inform the mind; to prepare by instructing in correct principles and habits; as, to discipline youth for a profession, or for future usefulness.

2. To instruct and govern; to teach rules and practice, and accustom to order and subordination; as, to discipline troops or an army.

3. To correct; to chastise; to punish.

4. To execute the laws of the church on offenders, with a view to bring them to repentance and reformation of life.

5. To advance and prepare by instruction.

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Discipling and discipline are never easy. It means getting down in the dirt, mud on our faces, tiring, exhausting, heart-rending combat for our children’s souls. We are down in the trenches with our children, showing them the way, step-by-step.

The way of modern parenting is that we expect kids to figure it out on their own. We send our children out to the world with a great education in academics but little to no foundation in the ways of our God. Our children earn their degrees and get wonderful jobs because they have been pushed and molded and shaped in knowledge of God’s world. Yet they do not know how to obey and worship the Creator.

I urge you, when your children are young, to begin a close relationship with them. Take every opportunity to talk to them of God and His ways and who He is. Show them and model for them how to respond appropriately to circumstances and to other people. Guide them like a shepherd and keep them close. Discipline them when they do wrong and then train them in how they should act the next time. God nurtures and trains and disciplines us. He does not expect us to learn these things on our own but teaches us constantly. In the same way we need to teach our children.

This year, while it is still a new year, I urge you to prayerfully consider if you are truly discipling your children the way He would have you. If not, hold a meeting with your husband on what steps need to be taken in order to train them up as Deuteronomy 6 tells us to. If your husband is not a Christian or is disinterested in this process this does not mean that you should lose heart. Timothy’s father and grandfather are not mentioned but his mother and grandmother are. One parent can make all the difference.

Our children are God’s gifts to us. Let’s make sure we do all we can to raise them up to bring glory to Him.

Today Teri Lynne has written another post for this Fresh Year, Fresh Start parenting week. Entitled Discipline: Making Disciples of Our Children she shares practicle ways of disciplining our children to become disciples for Him. Also, be sure to visit Kristi’s blog so that you can see a daily recap of each day’s posts and a link-up on Fridays that you can participate in.

Photo credit: sundstrom

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Encouragement

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Last night I poured out to my best friend my frustrations and feelings of discouragement I was experiencing. My husband listened intently to what I was saying and as usual he was able to hear between the lines what the actual problem was. (My husband rocks at listening. I wish all husbands were like that.) I had been going through a roller-coaster of emotional whiplash for weeks now. One minute I was happy as could be, the next minute I was ready to strangle even the toaster. Because really? Why did the toaster think it necessary to burn the toast?

Something miraculous happened in the short thirty-minute conversation on the couch with my BFF. As I listened to my husband speak uplifting words to me I felt a huge weight lift from my freckled shoulders. Weeks of stewing in discouragement were gone in a matter of moments.

Discouragement will eat you a live if you let it. Unfortunately it seems that many of us do not realize when our loved ones are needing that pat on the back. That little pep-talk that keeps some of us going. When is the last time you have told your spouse “Hey! You know what? I am so blown away at how hard you have worked on such and such.” or “You know, I really have noticed how you never complain about changing diapers/getting up with the kids at night/working at your job, etc. That is amazing. I love you for it!” When is the last time you have given your children or friend or family member an injection of words laden with encouragement?

I wonder why it surprises me to see my daughter smile so big after I have let her know how much I appreciate how she works with a cheerful heart? Why does it amaze me how my son let’s go of his grumpiness after I give him a hug, tell him I love him, and let him know I think his hugs are the best? Real question is: Why do I forget to encourage when I know how wonderful it is when I am encouraged by someone else?

Words are amazing things, folks. They are verbal pats on the backs for a job well done or for quiet service that nobody seems to notice. The lift a person’s countenance and make them smile. And though I have no proof, I am pretty sure that encouraging words are good for one’s health.

Try it today. You won’t regret it.

Photo courtesy of: Shawn Allen

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Five Ways to Help Out a Young Mother

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It came to my attention from hearing a passing conversation that many people do not know how to help out young mothers. Being a young mother myself, I thought myself qualified to answer with a little list I made up. Feel free to leave comments on what you would add to my list!

1. Bring her meals.

A sweet lady from my church overheard that I had an afternoon dentist appointment on Wednesday. On Tuesday, she brought over some enchiladas she had made so that they could just be popped into the oven on Wednesday evening and I would not have to worry about dinner on an already too busy day. Another family brought meals to us every Friday the last couple of months I was pregnant with my youngest. When I do not have to cook dinner, that is one less thing to worry about!

2. Help her out once a week.

If you are an empty nester, here is a great mission of mercy opportunity for you! Call her up and tell her that you have Tuesday (or Monday, or Thursday, etc) mornings free from 9-12 and would love to come by and just help. Many young mothers are proud and may turn you down. For those who realize that accepting help is okay, however, this will be a welcome opportunity to get that list of items on her refrigerator done. Offer to help clean bathrooms or kitchens, sweep floors, do laundry, run errands, or make meals. Before you come over, mention that you are stopping by the grocery store and ask if there is anything you need to pick up for her. When you leave, ask her if she has any library books she needs you to drop off.

3. Come by just to chat.

Call first. Bring by an interesting article or book that might pique her interest. Ask her opinion or thoughts on a current event. Let her talk and make sure you listen.

4. Invite her over and her family over.

Let her see that your house gets messy, too. One thing that eases my guilt over my less-than-perfectly-organized-house is seeing that not every home looks like Martha Stewart lives there. A lived in home should look lived in. Period.

5. Offer free babysitting.

Give her and her husband a chance for a regular date night. One thing my husband and I miss about living near our parents is the weekly date nights. His folks or mine willingly offered free babysitting so that we could go out. This is huge, folks, in a busy parent’s life.

What are other ways you can think of to serve busy mothers?

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