A couple of months ago, I did something I thought I never would do. In two hours one morning I walked through the house, boxes in hand, and confiscated every single one of my children’s toys. Dolls, blocks, dress up clothes, trains, cars, etc. They all went in. My children then were allowed to choose one single toy to keep out. After they did so all of the toys were taped shut into their boxes and moved up into the attic.
What caused this decision? What made me march through the house like a mad woman on a mission as I quickly threw any unsuspecting dolly into a box? Why did I take their toys away?
Those toys had become idols to my children.
Over the months I noticed my children had been fighting more often than usual. Siblings fight, I get that. As sinful human beings in a household of other people it will happen. Yet this fighting amongst my precious brood was elevated. It became too much and I struggled through some of my days to gain control of my household.
I would pray and think about the reason. I beseeched God to give me wisdom as to what steps I needed to take. What was the reason that the fighting had become normal instead of a rare, unfortunate occurrence? As I looked about my home that one morning my eyes noticed the same thing strewn about everywhere. On the floor, counters, couches, and under beds:
Toys.
And what were my children fighting over?
Toys.
It hit me like that proverbial brick wall: my children’s hearts were captured by their toys. Just like adults will allow their cars, jobs, and houses become the idols of their hearts, children will often view their “stuff” the same way. It is a symbol of “mine, mine, mine.” Their little selves are enamored with pretty, shiny, fun things. And well-meaning grandparents and parents give in.
How do we teach our children to be content? How do we start at such a young age to show them that having little means having much? I Timothy 6:6-10 says “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” Are we showing and teaching and training our children just what “godliness with contentment” is? Do they know what is important – food and clothing – and that any more is just extra?
Despite what popular psychologists may say, childhood is not all about play. As I have said before this early period in a child’s life is absolutely a time of necessary training and disciplining. Giving their days over to endless and free-will play without anything else allows them to shape their hearts to what they feel is important.
On the other hand, playing is not a bad thing in and of itself. Their needs to be a definite balance. And that can be hard to find.
So what is a parent to do? Below are some tips on how to train your children’s heart towards godliness yet at the same time allow some play time. I would love to hear your thoughts as well!
- Go through the toys in your house with your child(ren). As you look at each toy together, discuss the following things: when was this toy last played with? Do I share this toy happily with my siblings? Is the toy broken? Is the toy appropriate?
- As you and your child cull through their toys, set aside one box for giveaway, one for trash, and one for the toys you are keeping. You could even do a garage sale box if you are so inclined. Put each and every toy in its designated box. Then put the giveaway/trash/garage sale boxes in the garage. Get them out of the house.
- I have heard of the “get a toy, give a toy” rule. This actually is a great idea. Christmastime has become a day of inundating our children with toys of all kinds. Why not give some of the toys they already have away before the new toys come in.
- Ask the grandparents to limit what they buy for their grandchildren. Remember, you are the parent. You are responsible for what comes in your home and what your children are given.
- Give any relatives or friends who want to give gifts to your children a list of what your children will really play with. Oftentimes, “token” gifts are given. People feel obligated to give the children in their life a gift so they head to the nearest toy store and pick up a toy just to say they have something to give. If they have a true idea of what is allowed in your home (dolls, books, puzzles, coloring books, etc.) not only will they breathe a sigh of relief when their choices are limited but you will have less clutter around your home.
- Remember the importance of outdoor play. What does a child do outside? They pick up a stick and head to the sandbox to dig moats and roads. A box becomes a fort. They run as fast as their little legs can go. Generally they are playing without any toys. And the love it! No toys necessary.
What else do you have to add? What have I missed? I would love to hear your thoughts!
photo credit: FOX_DNE
